The Worst Action IS Inaction

Paralyzed by fear unable to form a complete sentence she sat there staring at her computer. Type!Type! Type! But she could not will herself to do so..Type Type Type! The voice in her head grew louder. Type! Finally she had succumbed to her minds request.

Is this you? I know it me at times ..Paralyzed by the amount..time..energy... and effort it takes to write or take action so much so I just freeze. Yikes! 10 years from now I don't want to look back and think:  man wish I had taken the plunge on this. But sometimes well most of the time  we get in our own way. Paralyzed by making a mistake because we can't control mistakes. Nurses are notorious for this . Our profession makes us paranoid into perfectionism given the weight of our nursing duties. this perfectionism leads us to carry it in other aspects of our lives. " You're not holy ghost Jr" I can hear my mentor saying. And she's right.  You and I are not the Holy Sprint, God ,or any other supernatural being. Now the Holy Spirit can live inside us if we allow Him too but we are not omnipresent only God is. So let it go!!!!!

Let go of perfect and start living your life. Do your very best and let God handle the rest. 

How to Let Go and Let God:

1. Pray. A lot of heartache and anguish can be avoided by praying.
2. Trust the process. Trust that He heard your prayer.He with answer it according to His will. Live in that truth.
3. Give it time. Some things don't happen overnight or instanaeously!
4. Let it go. Once you do the above walk in the Light and live with love.

Take care,

~Raqui

Love Letters To A Nurses Soul: Letting Go

Hello Everybody and Happy Resurrection/ Easter weekend.!!!! I read something FB that says something to the effect that the most powerful experience this world has had; happened in a span of three days. Think about it...Jesus was arrested, prosecuted, persecuted, murdered, placed in a tomb, and then resurrected for you and me. I wish you and your family a blessed Easter weekend and time to reflect on where your life is going.  At the end of the day there are people, places, and opportunities much more important than the trivial things we get hung up on. ~ Kimberly

Now Onto the Letter:

Dear Nurse,

      There are people, places, things, and situations we need to let go of. We may think we have but reality is we have not.  For instance I ran into a former friend and while I have forgiven this person it still gave me a bit of anxiety seeing them. Would I say something crazy..unfiltered..untactful? Would I want to run and hide? I'm not sure how I was going to react but anyways when I saw them I hugged them and kept the conversation to what they were comfortable with. And even though we aren't friends I was happy to see them doing well but understood why we could never be the type of friends we were before. You see I have changed and grown a lot over the last time I spoke to them and if I can't be my beautiful broken self in front of you we can't be friends or family for that matter.So I'm letting go. Letting go of preconceived notions, pretending to say and do things I'm not, living up to others expectations, and trying to prove I'm worthy. The sheer fact I am alive and breathing is proof I belong among the human race. The fact God gets me up every morning is validation enough I am worthy. What do you need to let go of? Write it down and tear it up today!




Love,


~ Kimberly

Love Letters To A Nurses Soul: It's Just a JOB!

Dear Nurse,

 Today I sat here and repeated to myself it's just a job. Why? Because someone made me mad. They were very unprofessional despite my best efforts. But in truth I allowed them to make me mad as I control my destiny and reactions, and then  God remind me no matter how nice or unprofessional mean spirited or graceful the people we come in contact with in our profession we must remember it is just a job. People  come, go, get changed, and rearranged but my family my family is forever and that is more important to me then a JOB. 

The life growing inside of me is more important than telling someone off or putting them in their place. At the end of the day I  go home to a loving supportive family. Maybe they don't.I don't know but I hope they do. So today I remind you to do your job and do it well as you always have but at the end of the day remember you gave it your best and that's it. After all when we get to the pearly gates God's not going to ask how well you interacted with your coworker but He will want to know if you accepted his son in your heart.

Love,

 ~Kimberly 

(originally written 3/13/14)

Love Letters To A Nurses Soul: Called vs. Capable

Dear Nurse,

Last year I attended parts of the Women Living Well Conference online. In one of the videos your calling vs capabilities was discussed. Karen Ehman explained that we can be capable of many things in life but our time is better spent to doing what we are called to do. 

Regardless of your beliefs this is a universal principle. We as human beings are so fascinating; able to do amazing feats especially under pressure.Yet when we live our lives doing everything we end up doing nothing. I have struggled with this before and sometimes fall off the wagon. For instance, I love serving in church but in what capacity? I am truly a free spirit and like to step in when and where help is needed at a moments notice, not necessarily doing the same task on a regular bases.My husband is the opposite of me.You can see him week in and week out protecting the children that come to church on Sunday. Me on the other hand you might find praying for someone one Sunday right when they ask, recording the church's history through written words, holding a baby, or encouraging someone on Facebook. 

The point is neither way is better,just as my spouse and I are different so are we as nurses. Some Doctors, entrepreneurs, writers, actors, and speakers just to name a few. How we choose to live our lives are examples of the calling. What gets you going in the morning and you think about long after you should be asleep? That's what you are called to do! Focus on that and you can't go wrong. Also I must mention the need to compare. We are each fearfully and wonderfully made, no need to compare your journey to another. If we were all the same this world would be pretty damn boring. What are you called to do? What do you need to say no to although you are capable of doing it in order to fulfill your destiny? 

Love,

Kimberly


P.S. Today I'm doing a book event at my Alma Mater the University Of South Florida. In honor of this milestone I am offering you a special discount today only for my debut publication "What They Didn't Teach You Or I In Nursing School: Lesson Learned Outside The Classroom." Enter the code: 
D4VCP8ER when you order through my createspace online bookstore. You'll get the book for just $10.00 and enjoy a wealth of inspiring, encouraging,and practical information. Shipping and handling still apply. And remember when the clock strikes 12 this deal will no longer be valid.Thank you for your support and encouragement.

Love Letters to A Nurses Soul: Daily Diet

Hello Everyone Kimberly here. I have missed you all but I have been working behind the scenes on some things I hope you enjoy. One of them is my "Love Letters to a Nurses Soul" Project. I hope these love letters inspire, encourage, and give you hope.

Dear Nurse,

Today is the day you change your diet! No I"m not talking about from donuts to egg whites and spinach or from pizza to salmon and brown rice, although those may be good choices depending on your health. No, I'm suggesting you change your steady diet of negativity regarding yourself, your professional and personal realm to one of positivity.

No more facebook for hours on end or nurse forums that bash our profession rather than uplift it. No more self- discussion boards that have more negative than good. because really the mind is powerful and I for one need to set some boundaries. What we constantly consume we become. No matter how hard we try to scroll to the positive post or ignore that someone else seems to be living a bigger, better, more fulfilled life we must stop. You are worthy to be happy. Everyone is.The minute you recognize this is  the minute you will  begin to live.

I've seen you struggling trying to live up to expectations that were not meant for you. You are "fearfully and wonderfully made "-Psalm 139:14 and don't need to play second fiddle to anybody. So we need to detox. It will not be easy but in the end the results of you feeling happy, fulfilled and walking in your propose will be worth it.

Daily Diet Revamp:

1. I will pray instead of worry. Each time I get the inkling to worry I will instead pray over my situation. I realize praying and worrying are counterproductive.
2.  I pledge to Love myself fully and wonderfully just as God created me.
3. I speak life  into my situations. When negative thoughts arise I confront them with truth and past successful experiences and outcomes.
4.  I will limit my time and energy on trigger areas of my life rather that  mean spending only 1 hr on social media daily or not watching TV before I go to sleep.
5. Each day take out some time to be still and Know He is God. The God of the Heaven and Earth..there is nothing to hard for Him.

Love,

Kimberly

P.S. If you would like to read more about walking in your purpose, finding and achieving success, all through a spiritual and comedic lens check out my book "What They Didn't Teach You Or I In Nursing School: lessons Learned Outside The Classroom."  Thank you.

2013 The Year of Raqui

Every year before the new year starts I write down how I want the year to be. I firmly believe in the power of words. You can either speak life into or bring death over your situations. Anyways, this year I labeled as a rebirth as myself personally and professionally.

The year started off with a bang with guest post,connecting, and writing. Then tragedy struck me and my family and things seemed to be going good for awhile and then joy came in the form of a little baby but a few short weeks later death struck at our door again. And it was hard.. hard to pick up the pieces and not completely fall apart in the mist of our circumstances. But we held on to our faith and the promises of Jesus.  It was not easy.. losing a child but without my relationship with the Lord  I would not be writing you today. And then a crazy thing happened I published my first book and attended the NNBA conference. I connected with so many wonderful people and I actually was smiling and feeling like Kimberly again..Then I  was blessed with interviews in print and radio and now with hope/plans for much more in 2014. Reflecting on this past year has brought me peace as I have truly grown and  truly embraced myself This has caused me to loose some people along the way but that's ok because its part of growing and evolving into the person I want to be. Writing this has me a little teary eyed because of all that we've been through this year. I am truly grateful to you all my audience from Florida to Saudi Arabia. Around the world and back again. I could never nor did I ever imagine the words God gave me touching so many people. Thank you. Thank you for visiting, commenting, sharing, and purchasing. Without your support writing here would not be successful. Writing  has been therapeutic for me and I hope a blessing to you. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity and I can't wait to see what 2014 brings.

To a Blessed, Prosperous, and Happy New Year for you and your family!

~Kimberly

Congratulations!

Four years ago this very week on graduation day I stood in your very shoes. Where did four years go...man I'm getting sentimental. A lot has happened and I've grown so much. The biggest change is my confidence and competence in self.  And while I still have my moments... we all do I know I rock as a nurse and stand in that truth!

Four years ago the world was ahead of me and the nursing school adventure behind me. I felt free..a survivor of sorts and all around happy. But reflecting back I feel grateful. The road to writing you now has not been easy - I went from rejection,wait-listed, harassed, unappreciated to peace, purpose, and perseverance. For me my faith and relationship with the Jesus got me through. So today I'm writing all the graduates a letter. (I have a special place in my heart for the nursing graduates!)That I wish I had wrote myself...or if did I can't find it lol.

Dear Graduate,

 Today is your day! You have survived tests of paper, pen, and human experiences.You have risen at the crack of dawn and gone to sleep after midnight all to finish your care plan. Then got up the next morning to do it all over again, providing excellent compassionate patient care. You have been uncertain and fearful- lacked confidence but triumphed them all! By believing in yourself; gaining strength with each new experience.  You have stood up for the voiceless and made a difference.Your sacrifice does not go unnoticed.  You have called the provider on the phone advocating for your patient. You have had open conversations with your preceptor understanding that they are human. Through it all you have preserved. Well done! Today celebrate your accomplishments and the fact no one can take your education away. In the days, months, and weeks ahead draw on what you are feeling currently as it will serve you when you are knee deep in guilt and self-loathing. 

You are a nurse at this very moment and although you may not have your license, right now you embody all the skills and characteristics you need. Yes there will be some obstacles, mistakes and growing pains along the way but you've got it! Congratulations and Happy Graduation Day. I'm proud of you and look forward to connecting with you soon.

 Take Care,

~Raqui

What advice do you have for the graduates today?

Holiday Rejuvination? No way!

I  must say I have met some awesome nurses online and in person. And Elizabeth is defiantly one of them! We have been collaborating with back and forth posts, radio, and guest collaborations. Below Elizabeth shares how to revamp your holidays. I love her practical and relatable advice that we can all easily incorporate in any holiday routine this season. Have a Happy Healthy Thanksgiving. ~Raqui :)

Nurses, 3 Ways to Rejuvenate Yourself and Your Health during the Holiday Season!

By Elizabeth Scala RN

Up here in Maryland with the chillier air, hats and jackets, and shorter days one thing is evident as I observe the hustle and bustle of my coworkers. The holiday season is upon us. And what does that mean? With the holidays, what usually comes hand-in-hand? You've got it:

Stress!

In fact I actually heard a woman in my office say: “Well, I looked at my calendar and I've only got three days to get this shopping done. If they (her grandchildren) don’t get me their lists soon- I guess they just don’t get what they want!”

Are you serious? Since when did the holidays become about going out, getting things off of a list, and not enjoying an ounce of the moment-to-moment joy?

As nurses we can also feel the holiday stress in another capacity:

On the job.

From lighter staffing due to holiday schedules to irritable patients who don’t want to be in the hospital for the holidays in the first place, nursing can be a demoralizing role during this time one wants to be most with family.

So what can we do about it? Because we know that nursing doesn't stop. The 24/7 care and compassion we share must go on. So how can we do it with a sense of joy and a hint of peace of mind?

 3 simple ways to rejuvenate yourself and your work during the holidays:

•        Get Creative. I’ll admit I was one of the saddest, most miserable nurses on my unit during holiday times. Being from NY and living in MD was tough as I missed my family and friends. Yet with the advancements in technology we don’t have to feel like we’re hundreds of miles apart. You can Skype, get on a Google Hangout, or find other creative ways to connect with family around the world. On top of that, tap into your artistic and childlike self. Go to a craft store and walk the aisles. Find something that brings out your holiday joy. Head home and turn on the holiday cheer while playfully creating your masterpiece.
•        Stay Healthy. The fastest way to feeling blue during the holiday hustle is a weak and compromised body. Body, mind, spirit, and emotion are all one. If you’re tired, poorly hydrated, or undernourished from nutrient weak foods you’re going to notice it in your emotions. Poor health equates to feelings of anxiety, sadness, and loneliness. Spruce up your health and enjoy an added benefit of some pep in your step as you walk into work to enjoy your patient care. 

•      Embrace Gratitude. This is the secret weapon behind all great rejuvenation. Our minds create our realities. What you experience outside in your environment is a mirror image of what you think and feel in your internal self. If you want a holiday filled with joy, peace, and love- it’s time to get grateful. Already practicing gratitude? A great way to up-level your routine is by, not only focusing on what you’re grateful for, but adding on a feeling. Here’s an example: Instead of ‘I’m grateful for my family’ you want to say something like: ‘I’m grateful for my family which makes me feel cheerful, safe, and full of love.’ 

Enjoy these simple strategies to rejuvenation and allow yourself to embrace your holidays this year and always. After all, happier staff makes for happier patients. Happier patients make for smoother work days. And I know we all want to enjoy our nursing work. Have a healthy and happy holiday everyone!

I’d love to hear how these tools worked for you, or if you have any others you’d like to add to the list. If you’re interested in finding out more, come visit me at www.livingsublimewellness.com. Sign up for my newsletter and receive my special gift, a 3-Part Video Series, “Here’s Time for Your Health”.

About the author:

Elizabeth “Coach” Scala, MSN/MBA, RN is passionate about helping healthcare professionals, nurses in particular, to embody holistic living and embrace self-care. Through her business, Living Sublime Wellness, she writes regularly on the topic of self-care, conducts wellness workshops, and offers both in-person and online seminars for busy nurses.

Elizabeth is a Certified Health and Wellness Coach and holds Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, and Master’s degrees in both Business and Nursing. Originally from Carmel, NY, she now lives in Baltimore, MD with her husband and two dogs. Visit http://www.livingsublimewellness.com for more information.

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This month  I celebrate my birthday and in years past it has been filled with lots of drama. So this summer after a heartbreaking tragedy I reflected on why I celebrate birthdays. The short answer: they are worth celebrating, Life is worth celebrating!! Happy Birthday to you wherever you are!!!Celebrate!!!!!!!

Over the years I have been asked many times why I make such a big deal out of my birthday. While my family and close friends get it..others not so much. I have heard it is selfish or makes people uncomfortable depending on my plans..this as you can imagine has caused lots of drama around my birthday and for several years I have only spent it with those in my inner circle or my husband for fear of ruining a perfectly good day with others opinions.

 To understand my stance on birthdays you must understand how I was raised. .Growing up no matter what we had cake and ice cream on our birthdays and  my mom made it very special . My dad makes sure everyone knows and celebrates their golden birthday(the day you turn the same age as your day of birth).  So you can imagine my surprise when others made the above comments how I felt. It was shocking to me at least. But I'm done worrying about others opinions of me especially in regards to celebrating the day God blessed me. I have been through a lot and want to honor God with celebration of all He has brought me through.  Birthdays are very important: once that sperm meets that egg  its beautiful..I mean how awesome that what color hair to your personality is decided in an instant..and not to mention how many sperm never reach the egg in time..its perfect symphony. And then the baby, if we're lucky  is born alive, healthy, and thriving in this world. Lots of unforeseen circumstances such as miscarriage..stillbirths..

kidnapping... sudden infant death, and violence just to name a few can occur along they way,so why wait let's celebrate!!!! If you think about it its a miracle regardless of what you believe that despite all obstacles  we are alive and breathing.

How do you celebrate your birthday?  

This post is dedicated to all my friends who have recently had babies and those moms who will see their babies in heaven. So to answer the question: I ask one in return- who am I  not to celebrate my birthday?  Do what makes you happy.  For me that is  honoring the One who gave me life. The One who knew me before I was thought in my parents head. Not everyone gets a chance to live and I don't want to take that for granted. 

Take Care,

~ Kimberly

NNBA Review

Last month I attended the National Nurses In Business Association Conference! This was my first major conference of this type and debut for me as an entrepreneur. I met a lot of wonderful people and made hopefully life long connections. I also enjoyed some down time too! As a first timer and one of the newest  attendees environment, connecting, and confirmation stood out to me.
 

Environment
 

In my opinion where you have a conference is just as important as who you have there and the #NNBA organizers understand that. We stayed at the lovely Orlando Area Embassy Suites fitted with spacious rooms made to order omelets, water feature, business center, and spa/pool to name a few amenities. Every night I slept in a wonderful bed and was impressed with the cleanliness of the facilities.  It made for a relaxing reflective environment. 

Connecting

As I said I met a lot of intriguing, fascinating, and like minded people with a can do entrepreneurial and business spirit. It was nice to be apart of ; meeting legends of the online nursing world I would probably never meet under normal circumstance. It was even more humbling that they were real down to earth people. We  laughed,hugged, and reflected together.  I also meet everyday heroes and that was a treat in itself. If nothing else I hope these connections continue as friendships with us growing and supporting each other  in every step.

Confirmation
 

While I learned a lot about the different business opportunities I got confirmation on what I was already doing by trusting my gut. In fact at one point I started writing down  the lessons I learned before the conference with the ones repeated  at the NNBA. Now I have a blue print on what areas to focus on so that I may have a growing and thriving business. 

 

Tips for Newbies

•   Prepare before the conference with business cards, flyers, and ideas. You never know who you will meet and what opportunities will come to you. 
• Talk to someone who has attended the conference before and/or knows someone who is attending. I did both and this helped me take a lot of the guess work out on how to best prepare for whatever opportunities were awaiting me.
• Relax..be yourself!!!! The authentic you is much better than a pretender.
• Network in a way that plays to your strengths. For me this meant talking to conference attendees one on one building connections. 

All in all this was a wonderful first conference experince and I would love to attend next year as a speaker:)

Take Care,

~ Raqui

Raqui Thursdays: Dreams Come True

Tomorrow I will be on Living Sublime Wellness Radio: my first of many radio shows and  I just have to pinch myself ! Is it possible all my dreams are coming true? My goal was to publish a great book and get it into as many nurses hands as possible. The ultimate prize? selling it at my nursing school. But this journey has become so much more! I have meet great- inspiring people on and offline, received acceptance and opportunities I couldn't have imagined. But I'm not surprised. Why?  Because I moved in the faith and knowledge that Gods got my back. He birthed these ideas in me and has blessed them to succeed. I am in awe. Thank You.

For someone who went from no hope to  talking on  a wide reaching radio show I want to encourage you. What are your dreams? Now act on them. Waiting to live, waiting for perfect...what are you waiting for? The time is now this very instant! Don't wait another second on the would of, could of, should of's  of life. Those you will touch are waiting for you. From rejection to acceptance, from working at my dream job to publishing my first book: my core family and friends have been through it all and I am thankful for them for keeping me grounded and  helping not to take myself so seriously. What dreams are in store for you ? Leave them in the comments below or email me.
I would love to hear from you.

Take Care,

~Raqui

Kindred Spirits

 We are not alone. On a day when when I arrived home searching, yes searching for things I could have done better or differently I read this post by my colleague Elizabeth Scala.  Before arriving home I had already decided  I was letting it go, resting in the arms of Jesus. As I sat outside gazing at our memorial plant watching it bloom before my eyes  it was an amazing sight! You see I have learned and written about Cutting The Balloon and not letting the work day take my joy or peace. The point is Elizabeth's' post gave name to what we all go through and provided tips that are very helpful. The only tip I would like to add is repetition.Practice becomes second nature. The more we practice treating ourselves right, recognizing when we are about to spiral, and not taking ourselves so seriously the more it comes naturally. We get one life. Our best is good enough and yes sometimes we will make mistakes or errors but that does not make us bad nurses. A great nurse is one who is not perfect but recognizes the need to improve . To all you nurses out there rest, reflect, and pat yourself on the back because you gave it all you had.

Take Care,

~Raqui

The Book IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello Everybody,

 I pray you all had an awesome Monday. As you know for the last month or so I've been ghost, finishing up my first book: What They Didn't Teach You Or I In Nursing School: Lessons Learned Outside The Classroom. Very exciting! I attended the National Nurses Business in Association 2013 Conference this weekend and hope to post about my experience as a first time attendee next week.

I just want to say I am so thankful for all of you. My loyal readers. I would appreciate it if you help me spread the word about the book. I hope all is well and we defiantly have to catch up soon. I will be buzzing around on and offline doing interviews; check out my first one here with Tina over at different types of nursing, posting book reviews, and radio? So cool. I hope you enjoy and show your support. When you buy the book or know someone who does send email me about your experience at raquiwardrn@gmail.com. I look forward to your feedback.

Take Care,

~Kimberly

Where's Raqui ?

Happy Tuesday!
I know it's been a while .. seems this is becoming theme lol. Anyways, thought I put to rest any rumors..imagined by me I might add :) that I'm done writing..since I have not been on here consistently.

While experiencing a personal tragedy I'm taking time to Take Care of my self - care needs. What good would I be to you if I didn't follow my own advice?

- While I'm "offline" here- I'll be on twitter @RaquiWard, Google +, Linked in


- Working on the Forthcoming book I've been talking about all year- What They Didn't Teach Your or I In Nursing School: Lessons Learned Outside The Classroom; for publication later this month. So excited. hope you enjoy it :)

Some lessons from the book include:

• Lesson #1- You Can Get Your Dream Job- I'm sure you've been told many times you can not, well I'm here to tell you why you can.

• Lesson #4 - Nursing Chooses You- You Don't Choose It!- This profession is not for the faint of heart or those seeking riches, fame, and adoration.  Although these may come you need to enter the profession with some realistic expectations

• Lesson # 9- Affirmation Comes From Home: The power of a good support network. Great nurses are made at home.

- And in addition expanding my freelance writing business. Contact me for any of your  freelance writing   needs. I specialize blog writing/content marketing in the areas of : women's health, public/community health, stress management, and health/wellness.

While we are on this break I hope your explore the blog as it is because next project after the book launch is moving this blog to a more hospitable environment where I have more freedom advertising wise to give you what you need, quality- not quantity. Connect with me on twitter @RaquiWard, leave me a comment here, or send me an email at raquiwardrn@gmail.com.  If you like what you see share , share, share, if it needs improvement tell me.

Take Care,

~ Raqui

Raqui Thursdays : Priorities

Hello and happy weekend. Although this post is title for Thursdays I was unable to to post yesterday.  So I'm posting today. This weekend I will be working on a new  writing venture that I hope will open some  doors. So I leave you with a post I wrote months ago, with a few revisions, that I now feel is more relevant then ever.

It appears we got it all wrong in today’s world where cash is king and families fall by the wayside for much needed financial resources. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy working and am learning to do it unto the Lord vs. man. But when we are told our health, physical/mental, restroom breaks, and eustress are optional I questions our motives. Everything cannot be a priority as humans we learn this from the beginning when we are born and the first thing we do is breath. But when we are wound so tight that we cannot even sneeze for a minute without our commitment put into question I shudder.
When everything is a priority nothing is a priority. I am a priority without me there is no one to dry your tears, inspect the facility, give the depo, or perform CPR. I am a priority. I matter. My lists of priorities’ are God, Me, and Family.  Livelihood without balance does not work.

Take Care,

~ Raqui

P.S. I'm not sure you can see this when you come here but there are some advertisement links that appear in the blog description/ side/ anywhere else "they " feel is relevant  that I do not endorse. We will be moving soon, where I can have more control. And if you are the advertiser. Cease and Desist. You do not have my blessing or permission!

Take Care : Boundaries

Happy Monday,
Let's start our week off right shall we?

OK- so as  promised how is the whole sleep thing going? Well, while I did manage to do all three tips I talked about at least once last week. my sleep has still been all over the place. On the days I worked out for the most part I slept well. One day this week I went to a  late movie and didn't get to bed until two hours past my usual bed time but amazingly I woke up "right as rain" the next morning...go figure. . The electronic free bedroom nights were awesome so that will continue. This week I will continue consistently making my sleep a priority and let you know how it's going. What's new with your self-care needs? How are your goals going? I would love to hear from you.  We are in this together and if there's anyway I can help I would be more than happy too.

Now that we have the formalities out the way, I really wanted to talk to you about boundaries. These are very important and very specific to your individual needs. You see in order to truly take care, you must know your limits. For some this may be easy for others not so much. Yesterday, at church taught me so much about my blurred boundaries...for instance you find  out who truly cares for you when times are rough. I'm sure you already knew this but work with me.  Also you can only truly help someone willing and able to help themselves. Doing the work for the person does not help; it only hinders them..sometimes I get myself into trouble with this because I want to help..again sure you already knew this. Lastly..no one and I mean no one can fault you for taking care of yourself. Some will try  but you should not feel guilty for protecting yourself. We cannot be all things to all people that's whats God is for, something I learned at church previously and  yesterday.

The point is boundaries re: your time, energy, effort, money, and love/devotion will determine if you end up feeling drained at the end of the day or refreshed and ready for more. I give you permission in case you needed it to take care of yourself. We must care for self before others. It is not wrong! In fact it is selfish not too because when people are truly depending on you for your help you will not have anything left to give from your depleted reserves.  Along the way I have learned a thing or two about boundaries that help me make my health spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and financially a priority . And while this is easier said than done  I strive to do it everyday. I hope this information helps you in some way.

Self-care boundaries:

1. Say no and mean it. A concept I learned from this book. There's nothing worst then saying no and then going back on your word. You loose because not only did you not want to participate in the activity in the first place it's more than likely taking time away from some enjoyable self-care activity.

2. "Automate the important" Our Pastor Bruce Moore introduced this concept one Sunday in-relation to tithes and offerings and I didn't get it until I had a a million and one "deadlines" real and imagined and the concept popped back into my head. If there is a way that your bills or tithing in our churches case can be automated, Do it! It will take the stress and the guess work out of something important to you. How many times have you woken up in the middle of the night thinking did I pay that bill or in my case did I move the tithe money into the account?

3. Plan and keep time to reflect/ rest. Sometimes you just need to unplug..its hard but Facebook is really a time suck and your health is more important then the latest tweet that you can easily look up. You owe it to yourself to keep the appointments/ dates you make with you. If  you're not keeping your appointments with you ...how will you keep appointments with others? Another concept learned from Pastor Moore.

4. Make sure those in your inner circle are on board. When I have spa day the whole house is put on notice what , when, how,and the duration of my self- care activities. This avoids my husband for instance saying "What's for dinner" in the middle of my pedicure.

5. Do not always be readily accessible/available. I'm not saying live on  a remote island where you never talk to family or friends but I am saying listen to your body and yourself and don't feel obligated to respond to every facebook message, text, call, or email until you're ready. This is a hard one for me to learn ...until I realized that those I connect with are doing it too.. In fact it allows you time to think and be genuine in what you say when you do respond.  And if someone has a problem with it..tough, you might want to reevaluate the relationship because anyone who cares for you will understand that sometimes you need your space. Confusion does not equal clarity. Be still and listen- Psalm 46:10.

How do you set boundaries that make your self-care needs a priority? I invite you to email me or leave  a message in the comments.

Take Care,

~ Raqui

Raqui Thursdays

Happy Thursday People! For those of us who grind Monday- Friday it's almost the weekend.  Hallelujah!!!  And for everyone else I hope your weekend treats you well. I originally was going to post a playlist for this week, but when inspiration hits you .... you gotta write.

Today I went to Zumba and I ran into a old familiar face. It was great catching up with her and I left feeling refreshed, blessed, and at peace. I can't explain it but her very presence and willingness to let her blessed life exuded from her allowed/reminded me to be free. Anyways.. my point is everything happens for a reason so this Thursday as you enjoy time away from your daily activities, I invite you to reflect on if you're living your authentic life. If things are going well then let the whole world know and if there not then share with those who are close to you. Either way isolation is not an option. Embrace whatever is going on  as they say live in the moment.

Take Care, Be Blessed, Enjoy your life's sound track

~Raqui

Take Care:Take Stock Results: Sleep, Posture, Hydration

And above these three is sleep. God is so funny. While working on the Take Care series this summer, I got to thinking/writing and well the three things I need / want to focus on this summer as the title entails are sleep, posture, and hydration.  Last week, we talked about taking stock and I must let you in on a little secret: I already knew what I needed to work on which sometimes happens but it was defiantly confirmed this week in ways I couldn’t imagine. How did taking a fresh look at your self –care needs go this week?

Sleep:
 
Sleep has eluded me at times and has been good at times. In fact last night it rained and I slept well besides some weird dreams. But dreaming is good.  I defiantly see a difference when I don’t go to bed at my normal time even for one night. It’s like it throws my whole week off!!! Yikes! So, it’s fitting a few weeks ago the Today Show did a segment on sleep. OK God I’m listening :)
 First order of business is to really look at my sleeping patterns and implement new ways to get a better night’s sleep. I already do the usual we have all heard before of going to bed and waking up the same time each day… even on weekends…Ugh!,  making sure my bedroom is just that a place to sleep not plan, write, read, or watch TV…this does not always work and  lastly,  try not to drink anything about 1-2 hours before bed so I get continuous sleep.
This week I will be doing three things to improve my sleep. How about you? Is sleep something you struggle with? Or is there another self-care issue you’re going to tackle first? What do you do to get a good night’s rest?

Sleep Tips This Week:

1. Exercise
2.  Note when I go to bed, how long it takes me to fall asleep, what time I wake up, and how I feel in the morning
3. Phone Free bedroom

Okay, that’s it for now. I’ll be back next week to let you know how it goes.

Take Care,

~Raqui

Taking Care: Taking Stock

Awe summer: fresh air, showers, cookouts, beaches…let’s just drink it all in shall we? OK back to business!

By far, one of my most popular post to date has been Taking Care. Personally I believe this is because often times we get in the routine of taking care of ourselves last.

As you know I truly believe in order to be an effective and functioning person in this life you must care for self-first. I have seen and personally experienced what not taking care of yourself can do and I’m sure you have too. So, I propose over the next six weeks we take a long hard look into our self-care techniques, strengths, areas for improvement, and do some experimenting…who ‘s with me??!!!!

Here’s how it will work: each week I will post an aspect of self-care we can explore together; sharing our triumphs and supporting each other's bloopers along the way .Trust me I’m the queen of them. So thankful for God’s Grace.

  

This first week we will take stock. Write down what you do this week, such as when you wake up, go to bed, eat, sleep, exercise, read, anything that is a part of your routine, a good rule of thumb I have learned from various sources is to at least record  three consecutive days of activities to see established patterns. If you can’t? Just write what you can. The point of the exercise is to see where you are currently at in your self-care journey. Once that’s done take some time not to even look at your routine and then come back to it. What one or two areas stand out that you would like to reboot this summer?  Next week we share our insights.

I would love to hear from you so leave a comment below about your self -care journey  and/or topics you would like covered during this series . To connect on a more intimate level feel free to email me at raquiwardrn@gmail.com

Take Care, you deserve it!

~ Raqui 

P.S.  If your wonder where I came up with Taking Care look no further than Drake's song "Take Care" ft. Rihanna. There's a line in the song when she says "I'll take care of you" which inspired me/ got me thinking. And while I don't agree with most of the music these artists produce, this one in particular made me think of my own self -care needs. What music inspires you?