Take Care : Boundaries

Happy Monday,
Let's start our week off right shall we?

OK- so as  promised how is the whole sleep thing going? Well, while I did manage to do all three tips I talked about at least once last week. my sleep has still been all over the place. On the days I worked out for the most part I slept well. One day this week I went to a  late movie and didn't get to bed until two hours past my usual bed time but amazingly I woke up "right as rain" the next morning...go figure. . The electronic free bedroom nights were awesome so that will continue. This week I will continue consistently making my sleep a priority and let you know how it's going. What's new with your self-care needs? How are your goals going? I would love to hear from you.  We are in this together and if there's anyway I can help I would be more than happy too.

Now that we have the formalities out the way, I really wanted to talk to you about boundaries. These are very important and very specific to your individual needs. You see in order to truly take care, you must know your limits. For some this may be easy for others not so much. Yesterday, at church taught me so much about my blurred boundaries...for instance you find  out who truly cares for you when times are rough. I'm sure you already knew this but work with me.  Also you can only truly help someone willing and able to help themselves. Doing the work for the person does not help; it only hinders them..sometimes I get myself into trouble with this because I want to help..again sure you already knew this. Lastly..no one and I mean no one can fault you for taking care of yourself. Some will try  but you should not feel guilty for protecting yourself. We cannot be all things to all people that's whats God is for, something I learned at church previously and  yesterday.

The point is boundaries re: your time, energy, effort, money, and love/devotion will determine if you end up feeling drained at the end of the day or refreshed and ready for more. I give you permission in case you needed it to take care of yourself. We must care for self before others. It is not wrong! In fact it is selfish not too because when people are truly depending on you for your help you will not have anything left to give from your depleted reserves.  Along the way I have learned a thing or two about boundaries that help me make my health spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and financially a priority . And while this is easier said than done  I strive to do it everyday. I hope this information helps you in some way.

Self-care boundaries:

1. Say no and mean it. A concept I learned from this book. There's nothing worst then saying no and then going back on your word. You loose because not only did you not want to participate in the activity in the first place it's more than likely taking time away from some enjoyable self-care activity.

2. "Automate the important" Our Pastor Bruce Moore introduced this concept one Sunday in-relation to tithes and offerings and I didn't get it until I had a a million and one "deadlines" real and imagined and the concept popped back into my head. If there is a way that your bills or tithing in our churches case can be automated, Do it! It will take the stress and the guess work out of something important to you. How many times have you woken up in the middle of the night thinking did I pay that bill or in my case did I move the tithe money into the account?

3. Plan and keep time to reflect/ rest. Sometimes you just need to unplug..its hard but Facebook is really a time suck and your health is more important then the latest tweet that you can easily look up. You owe it to yourself to keep the appointments/ dates you make with you. If  you're not keeping your appointments with you ...how will you keep appointments with others? Another concept learned from Pastor Moore.

4. Make sure those in your inner circle are on board. When I have spa day the whole house is put on notice what , when, how,and the duration of my self- care activities. This avoids my husband for instance saying "What's for dinner" in the middle of my pedicure.

5. Do not always be readily accessible/available. I'm not saying live on  a remote island where you never talk to family or friends but I am saying listen to your body and yourself and don't feel obligated to respond to every facebook message, text, call, or email until you're ready. This is a hard one for me to learn ...until I realized that those I connect with are doing it too.. In fact it allows you time to think and be genuine in what you say when you do respond.  And if someone has a problem with it..tough, you might want to reevaluate the relationship because anyone who cares for you will understand that sometimes you need your space. Confusion does not equal clarity. Be still and listen- Psalm 46:10.

How do you set boundaries that make your self-care needs a priority? I invite you to email me or leave  a message in the comments.

Take Care,

~ Raqui

No comments:

Post a Comment